- On Jazz bass players.
What is the difference between jazz bassist and a large cheese pizza?
A large cheese pizza can feed a family of four.
- About the electric bass players.
A man gives his son an electric bass for his 15th birthday, along with a coupon for four bass lessons. When the son returns from his first lesson, the father asks, "So, what did you learn?"
"Well, I learned the first five notes on the E string."
Next week, after the second lesson, the father again asks about the progress, and the son replies, "this time I learned the first five notes on the A string."
One week later, the son comes home far later than expected, smelling of cigarettes and beer. So the father asks, "hey, what happened in today's lesson?"
"Dad, I'm sorry but I couldn't make it to my lesson. I had a gig!"
To which a bassist said:
Q. What has six strings, is black and blue and lying in a gutter?-And a guitarist/lightbulb joke:
A. A guitarist who cracked too many bassist jokes.
Q. How many guitarists do you need to change a light bulb- And the one about Mac users, which you will get only if you have been hanging around with too many obsessive users, who can't get enough of telling you how great their iMacs are.
A. Five. One to change the bulb and four to reminisce about how good the old tubes were.
Q. How many mac users do you need to change a lightbulb?
A. One. Let him change the bulb and see the whole world revolve around him.