Sunday, November 19, 2006

Of (Re)Done Dons and Blond Bonds...

I wrote the title, and laughed for two seconds to be precise, and then tried repeating "Blond Bond" six times in my head. Try it out!

These days I am walking down the writer's block. When treading on such a path, I am left with one of the two: either I use bullets or I review. I choose the latter. Not like it matters too much. There are gin-chunke-chaar people who read this blog.

1. Casino Royale (2006)

Much has been said about the new Bond, and it wasn't all good to begin with. The media has a field day everytime there is a change in the accepted image of someone considered a public icon. Com'on media even makes a big deal out of Britney's new hair colour. I think thats what happened to the new Bond. He was analysed endlessly, so much so that even people who are immune to reviews, become quite skeptical when they walk into the theater.

So how does the new Bond compare with the old ones?
To quote good friend S, while Sean Connery was the cold cynic, Roger Moore was intelligent and fun, and Pierce Brosnan was the suave sophisticated variation, this one is the raw smouldering human variety. Different, yes. But then every Bond is.

I personally call Daniel Craig the beach bum version. Daniel Craig has got brawn, he is blonde, and he can act. The wide shoulders are a tad uncomfortable in the tux, but looked quite ok ordering the Vodka Martini. Beer would have suited him better though.

As far as the movie goes, I quite liked it. I didn't miss the double-entendres and the space lasers, which the last few had an excess of. But what I did miss is the gadgety Bond-mobile. Seriously, the car could have been given a little more air-time. This Bond runs, rarely does he drive.

The narrative, I must say, is a little unevenly paced, and there is a little too much romance. Brawny bond hopelessly in love is slightly difficult to digest for me.

With this, we come to the part where I unnecessarily rate:

Plot: 5/5
Action: 10/5 for that freeriding sequence at the beginning. 2.3 for the rest.
Daniel Craig: 3.7/5
Eva Green: 4, I guess. (I love the way she says "This lift is not big enough for me and your ego to fit together)
The other Bond girl: 1/5.
The villian: 2.3/5

Overall: 3.8/5

2. Don(2006)

The premise for my review of Don has been set in the previous review. I think we are merciless when it comes to Indian actors, and Indian icons. Far more protective, far less tolerant, borderline jingoistic. What worked with the reinvention of Bond, did it work with the reinvention of Don? I dont know, you tell me. I personally didnt mind the movie too much. In fact, it was good timepass-paisa-vasool.

Unnecessary ratings, first:

Plot:5/5 (of course - to the original Salim Javed script)
Plot variations: 4/5 (Innovative, takes guts to reinterpret)
Kahani me twist: 4.8/5 (Indeed)
Fights: 4.0/5 (Matrix meet Jet Li meet God-knows-what)
Car chases: 3.5/5 (Niiiice)
Locations: 10/5 (KL, Langkawi, will send you pics if you want. Visit Malaysia 2007. Visit Singy while you are at it)

Don the metrosexual: 3/5 (Nobbad - Don v2.0)
Don the bumpkin: -25/5 (Never seen a more unconvincing Banarasi Babu)
Priyanka chopra: 2.8/5 (Very Lara Croft)
Isha Koppikar: 1/5 (Wasted, no item number either)
Kareena kapoor: 0.002/5 (I believe in giving some marks for effort, would have stretched it to give her a 1, but fat arms. Sigh.)

Overall 2.9/5

Much has been said about Shahrukh Khan for the title role. Of course he would have never fit into Amitabh's shoes- Amitabh is a tall man. In my opinion, the movie didnt need an angsty male actor, it needed a superstar. Moreover, it was time for Don to be reinvented. Farhan Akhtar did the urban metrosexual version, and I don't think he did a bad job of it. So, cut him some slack, wouldja?

The last ten minutes hold the crux of the movie. The end reflects a paradigm shift, perhaps. Seventies were different, in the noughts, the good guy doesnt have to live at the end for you to like the movie, or for the movie to sell..
* end spoiler*


ROhan said...

Priyanka chopra rocks man ..- 5/5 :-)

fizz said...

on an irrelevant note, mo reminds me of momos. *yum!*

je veux et j'exige -- tongue twister for you. all bachcha-paplu population can say blonde bond i tell you! :D

Mo said...

@Rohan - you are the not the first one to object to that.

@fizoo -

That one was specially for you.
Getting a word a day are we?

fizz said...

*hides AWAD digest under pillow

who me??! 'course i dont!

Lihtnes said...

Reading ratings for movies which you havent seen is like reading the populations and GDP figures of random countries. Unless I visit the country, the numbers will only be numbers.

Anyways, thanks for the dedication in the big shoes pj :)

Mo said...

I know it.

Dude, you are 5/6th of an MBA. You are supposed to look at numbers(reviews) like that, have an opinion of your own, say my process of analysis is wrong and charge me for it. What have they been teaching you? Tch.

All my bad jokes are dedicated to you.

Sinfully Pinstripe said...

Hey, when did this happen? Nice! Main bhi CR ka review likhoonga! Main bhi!

And I did not see Don yet. Which means I will never see Don.

And would like to add:

Eva Green = 50/5. I was bloody bloody blown over
Montenegro = 25/5.

And quizzer tidbits:
1. Which car do the police in Montenegro use?
2. Why is the number 837737 relevant in the movie?

Mo said...

Likho Likho.
Its been a while.

Henceforth I wont be assigning scores to any actresses in any movie.

1. They use a Rolls Royce? Aston Martin?
2. Gadi ka number? Room ka number?

Sinfully Pinstripe said...

Heh, on Eva.

Answer 1: They use a Skoda Octavia.
Answer 2: 837737 - VESPER. That, being the number of the winning cache.